


the trick of finding what you didn't lose

by firebrands



Series: tumblr prompt fills [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Getting Back Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 17:30:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21395980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firebrands/pseuds/firebrands
Summary: for anon, who asked for “18. things you said when you were scared" and “20. things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear” (from amini fic prompt list)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: tumblr prompt fills [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541533
Comments: 8
Kudos: 116





	the trick of finding what you didn't lose

Steve’s the one who carries Tony to the hospital bed they’d prepared for him, much to Rhodey’s chagrin. Steve lays him gently on the bed and brushes hair from his face, an affectionate gesture that he’s sure Rhodey and Pepper don’t miss. Thankfully, they say nothing about it.

It’s around midnight when Steve feels brave enough to venture back to the room, Pepper half asleep with her head resting by Tony’s hand on the bed. “Hey, Pepper,” Steve says, touching her shoulder softly. “You should go get some rest. I can watch over him for a bit.”

Pepper shrugs his hand off, too groggy to hide how she feels about Steve. Not that Steve was under any pretensions about how Tony’s closest friends felt, after everything. It was what he deserved. “I don’t think he’d enjoy waking up to you being here,” she says, sighing a little. “But thank you for offering.”

“I can stay just for a few hours,” Steve bargains. It feels strange, to have to ask for this. Strange, too, that he wants it. But after Tony’s outburst, Steve wants a chance for them to talk, see if there’s anything left from the relationship they shared before everything happened.

Pepper sighs, stands, and throws him a last, warning look before she leaves Tony’s room.

Steve takes out the arc reactor from his back pocket and sets it down on the bedside table before taking a seat on the chair beside Tony’s bed. He surveys Tony’s prone form, rail thin from the days in space.

Steve sighs, takes Tony’s small hand in his. It’s warm. Steve presses his forehead against Tony’s hand, stifles back tears; relief, regret, recompense.

“Oh, Tony,” he says, voice soft out of fear of waking him, soft against the sounds of the machines monitoring Tony’s health, the low hum of the air conditioning unit. He doesn’t know where to start. 

“Thank god you’re alive, Tony, I was so scared you’d—I wish I’d—” Steve stops, feels tears behind his eyes again. “I’m sorry, for everything, for the stupid phone and the stupid letter, I should’ve just—” Steve stops again. “I’m sorry about Bucky, and for not telling you, for not listening to you.” Steve presses his lips to Tony’s knuckles, squeezing his eyes shut, wanting the action to convey everything else swirling around his heart.

“I wish I could do things over, with you, do it right this time, you know?” he whispers, lips brushing against the back of Tony’s palm..

“Shouldn’t be too hard,” Steve startles up at the sound of Tony’s raspy voice. “The bar is pretty fuckin’ low, Steve.”

Steve tries to fight back the tears that spring up to his eyes at the sight of Tony looking at him, lips quirked up in a knowing smirk.

“You heard all of that?” Steve asks, motioning to let go of Tony’s hand, but Tony grips Steve’s hand tighter. 

Tony nods. “So am I right in saying that you weren’t brave enough to say that to my face?” The smile is still on Tony’s face, so Steve knows he’s teasing.

Steve sighs. “Yes.”

Tony makes a small, approving noise. “Let’s get you started on doing right by me and get me a glass of water, would you?” Tony says, resting his head back on the pillow, still clearly exhausted.

Steve stands, his hand still in Tony’s. Steve looks at their joined hands, then looks at Tony. “You gonna let me go?” he asks, tugging Tony’s hand lightly.

“Nope,” Tony says, grip on Steve’s hand a bit looser now. 

Steve huffs out a laugh, and bends down to press a kiss again to Tony’s hand. “I’ll only be a second,” he says. “I don’t plan on ever leaving you alone,” Steve adds, after a moment. “If you’ll have me.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr saw it first [here](https://firebrands.tumblr.com/post/187507917025/18-20)
> 
> title from an e.e. cummings poem!
> 
> [buy me a ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/firebrands)? i'm also on [twitter](https://twitter.com/firebrandss)!


End file.
